The Red Skelton’s Recipe. Do you know him? … Just Another Manic Monday

RED SKELTON’S RECIPE:

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy today’s Manic Monday.   For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed.  Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer.  A re-run of great ‘one liner’s’ from the man who was known for his clean humor.   I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.

RED SKELTON’S RECIPE

FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

Red Skelton 1913-1997

1.

Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a

little beverage, good food and companionship.

She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2.
We also sleep in separate beds.

Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.

3.

I take my wife everywhere,

but she keeps finding her way back.

4.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.

“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.

So I suggested the kitchen.

5.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6.
She has an electric blender, electric

toaster and electric bread maker.

She said “There are too many gadgets, and no place

to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

7.

My wife told me the car wasn’t running well

because there was water in the carburetor.

I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”

8.

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.

Then the mud fell off.

9.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late

for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”.

10.
Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her

first name was ‘Always’.

12.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.

I don’t like to interrupt her.

13.
The last fight was my fault though.

My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?”

I said, “Dust!”.

To those of you who have known this man and watched his T.V. shows, can’t
you just hear him say all of these?

        These were the good old days when humor didn’t have to start

with a four letter word. 

I love it even though I just read all about him from a mail that I received from a friend.

 It

was just clean and simple fun. 

And my friend said that

he always ended his programs with the words,

“And May God Bless” 

with

a big smile on his face.


Enjoy your weekdays! mmwahhh 🙂

mmwahhh!

I love you guys! mmwahhh!

Experimental Comic by Toothsome

Okay before you proceed to read this comic you must know first the history behind this strip.  Last week I asked V to give me a joke and then I’d put it in a comic strip.
He gave me one and he told me it’s some kind of a French joke.  He sent it to me and was already translated in English.

A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer from the barman. But beware: The

guy wearing a toad on the head. So, intrigued, asked the bartender:

– How did you get it from?

And the toad replied:

– I do not know, it started with a wart under my feet!

 Excitedly I went to make my strip.  In my mind, I’d need a guy with a toad head ( because it says: “The guy wearing a toad on the head.”) It did not registered in my mind these words- a toad on the head, but my thought was so quick to see a “toad head”… hahaha

Until later after I finished my comic strip and have read this part  again—-when the bartender asked the guy, it says: “And the toad replied”, so it just meant that the toad is sitting on the guy’s head. Is that it?
And one more thing I was not familiar with this French joke.  Hahaha

But it was too late already and I made some changes too.. like for instance that guy who went to the bar for a beer with a “toad head” as I thought,   I made one of the bartenders to have a ” toad head” instead.  Because I wanted Andy and Mac Giggles in the cast for this comic strip, thinking it would be more funny.  🙂

I showed to V my supposed to be funny comic strip.  Of course, he said, it was not what that  joke meant to be.  He said it was not the guy with a toad head, but a toad on the guys head… hahaha

And so I asked him, to explain to me, why would a toad replied: “I do not know, it started with a wart under my feet!”

All he could say to me is that, I wouldn’t understand it because it’s a French joke anyways…  hahaha

Really, I didn’t get the joke.  Do any of you here, have heard about this joke?

Critics are welcome, just be kind and funny though… LOL and those who knew the creator of this comic strip, well you can proceed and view it. Just click:

At The Bar

Smile-makers to share… Just Another Manic Monday

Some oldies, some new…

http://orkutluv.com/  graphic comments-Funny Graphics

Little Larry… Just Another Manic Monday

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. 

After a few minutes, Larry asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ 

His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. 

Larry, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ….’

http://orkutluv.com/  graphic comments-Funny Graphics

Have A Great Weekdays, Everyone!

The Red Skelton’s Recipe

RED SKELTON’S RECIPE:

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this blog.   For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed.  Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer.  A re-run of great ‘one liner’s’ from the man who was known for his clean humor.   I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.

RED SKELTON’S RECIPE

FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

Red Skelton 1913-1997

1.

Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a

little beverage, good food and companionship.

She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2.
We also sleep in separate beds.

Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.

3.

I take my wife everywhere,

but she keeps finding her way back.

4.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.

“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.

So I suggested the kitchen.

5.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6.
She has an electric blender, electric

toaster and electric bread maker.

She said “There are too many gadgets, and no place

to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

7.

My wife told me the car wasn’t running well

because there was water in the carburetor.

I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”

8.

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.

Then the mud fell off.

9.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late

for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”.

10.
Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her

first name was ‘Always’.

12.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.

I don’t like to interrupt her.

13.
The last fight was my fault though.

My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?”

I said, “Dust!”.

To those of you who have known this man and watched his T.V. shows, can’t
you just hear him say all of these?

        These were the good old days when humor didn’t have to start

with a four letter word. 

I love it even though I just read all about him from a mail that I received from a friend.

 It

was just clean and simple fun. 

And my friend said that

he always ended his programs with the words,

“And May God Bless” 

with

a big smile on his face.



Ponderisms…

1·   I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

2·    There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

3·    Life is sexually transmitted.

4·    Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

5·    The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

6·    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7·   Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

8·  Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9·  All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10· In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

11· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

12·  Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?’

13·  If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

14· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

15·  If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

16·  If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

17· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

18· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

19·  Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

20·  Do you ever wonder why you are reading my blog now?

Just pulling your legs guys…

A New Year is soon to arrive!

Women’s Standards for Men in Their Life

Women’s Standards for Men in Their Life ~~~

Standards (age 22):

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

Revised Standards (age 32):

1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

Re-revised Standards (age 42):

1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady — splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking

nod his head… not whine 🙂

5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

Re-re-revised Standards (age 52):

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

Re-re-re-revised (age 62):

1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing !
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend

Re-re-re-re-revised (age 72):

1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet

But the fact is when you truly love your man, you just love him as the man as he is…  🙂

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